# 36 questions to get a little closer

> Three sets of questions to explore together, with an interactive version and printable cards.

Canonical HTML: https://jacobsamo.com/blog/36-questions-to-fall-in-love

- Author: Jacob Samorowski
- Published: 2026-10-26
- Updated: 2026-10-26
- Tags: relationships, resources, conversation
- Image: /images/36-questions-cover.png

I recently tried the 36 questions with someone, and wanted a simple way to share the experience. The prompts start lightly and become more personal across three sets. Take turns reading each one, and give both people room to answer before moving on. There is no need to race through them.

The questions below are adapted from the task slips in [Arthur Aron and colleagues' 1997 study](https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167297234003). The study explored whether structured self-disclosure could help people feel closer; it did not promise that two people would fall in love. [Mandy Len Catron's New York Times essay](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html) brought the questions to a wider audience, and [The New York Times published the question list](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/36-questions-that-lead-to-love.html).

Read the sets below, or open the interactive version to take them one at a time.



## Set 1



## Set 2



## Set 3



## Optional ending

If you both feel comfortable, spend four minutes looking into each other's eyes. You can use the timer in the interactive version. This ending comes from the later popular version of the exercise.

## Printable cards